The Side Chick:Who She Is & Why She Won’t Get Her Own Man Part II

Posted by Paige Diamond on November 24, 2010 · 6 Comments 

Type I

One thing that stood out the most for their reason why they chose to be the other woman was simple…CONVENIENCE. In spite of what you may have thought, SHE really doesn’t want to be HER. They like the benefits, but really don’t want the responsibility of being HER. SHE may not be in it to break up your home or take your man… matter of fact 80% of the time that she may know that HE is taken, SHE isn’t the initiator. It’s no different from the boyfriend #2 role- they are the go to woman when wifey fucks up! A lot of women have this notion that all women go after their man and their man is just trying to fend all these women off of him because he is just that good. That could or could not be true. It’s common for HER to feel that SHE is the cause of their relationship problems, rather than looking at the whole situation as to what part she played in being his woman or lack there of and his role in the current relationship mess. The low self esteem card has been played a lot when describing a woman who decides to be “2nd best”. Let’s keep it real shall we? The days of the woman on the side just being used for sexual pleasure are far and gone. A lot of mistresses actually are treated like or even better than the wife/girlfriend enjoying financial security, travel, jewels and more and they don’t have to deal with the demands that being the main lady has to. Matter of fact some of them make that a requirement of the involved men in order to even have a chance at them in the first place. This type of side chick actually makes the rules- whether or not he abides by them is on him. They quietly play their position, she doesn’t call him, he calls her. The side chick is usually the woman that HE wants, but could never have due to his own insecurities. She is not the woman that he sees only on late night creeps, bust her down and leaves when he says he is out with the guys.

Type II

Her goal is to be #1 and feels like she could do way better at being a wife or girlfriend than the one she has. She sees her position as to be the caretaker, the keeper of his secrets and desires, his lover and above all else his friend. She has the Cinderella complex and totally buys into the “all the good men are taken” idea, so much that she goes after them. She is the predator. She could care less who gets hurt, it’s about what she wants and she will do anything to get it. She is bold and disrespectful to the relationship he has. The A typical home wrecker, especially if she happens to fall in love with him. Many of the other women contend that you can’t choose who you fall in love with and they were just merely filling in the gaps that his woman left wide open. You know how the line goes, the whole “if she was doing her job, he wouldn’t be here with me.” This is a blatant cop out… and of course they know it. These women often admit to having low self esteem, feeling inadequate and find that these unavailable men completes them in some shape form or fashion. They are always available, have little to no requirements of the involved man but just to show up. She is eager to please him in whatever way he sees fit because the goal is to be the Misses. They often wait, holding on to promises that he will leave his wife/ girl for her even though his actions show otherwise. She may receive all the benefits that his main lady gets or none at all- remember she is the predator, not him.

It’s important to note that some but not all side chicks is a fling. Some go one for years, produce outside children and the whole nine yards. Very often the other woman is someone the main lady knows- it could be a family member, friend, co-worker, neighbor, usually she is right up under your nose. He usually does all the things with her that he used to do or can’t do with his main lady. For some being “wifey” is over rated, stressful and unrewarding versus being the “comfort zone” for him when things aren’t so great. You see classic examples in the media of women on the side. Remember that scene in Waiting to Exhale when the mother told Whitney Houston’s character to stay with the married man because he was a GOOD MAN? A lot of women from the old school actually feel the same way Betty Wright does in After the Pain… passing on a tradition of broken souls that settle rather than demand to be loved full time, not part time or when it is convenient. Some other examples include Kim from The Real House Wives of Atlanta, who was on her “man’s” payroll- enjoying all the luxuries of his wife except one thing… she couldn’t have him. He went home to his family every night. Another example is of course Alicia Keys. Not only was she the side chick to a married man but is now is married and has a child from Swizz Beats. Who says that a married man will NEVER leave their wife?

To Be Continued….

Filed under Paige Rants, Relationships · Tagged with cheating, communication, hip hop sexpert, infidelity, Intentions, love, male, mistress, monogamy, Paige Diamond, Relationships, respect, Single, Standards